You know what I’ve been wondering for a while?
Why does gaining followers matter? Why does losing followers matter? A lot of these people are complete strangers whom you’ll never interact with. They’ll drift into the corners of your vision and drift away again someday without saying a word, no different than anyone you’d see on the street.
They must have similar interests, you might think, to be following your blog. In that case, they’re no different than all the people you see at cons and never speak to, all the people in that big biology lecture class, all the people in line behind you and in front of you in the coffee shop, the music store, the salon.
Obviously there are some followers that you talk to and get to know and they probably become quite dear to you, but that’s almost certainly the great minority. Just like strangers on the street.
Also just like strangers on the street, there’s no reason for you to feel obligated to get along with all of them. There’s no reason to assume that just because someone is following you, you’re going to be able to be friends. There are people following you that probably hate your guts sometimes. There are people following you who meant to unfollow a long time ago and are just too lazy to do so, but they aren’t too lazy to harass you, unfortunately. These people are also a great minority.
But the one thing that followers are not is they are not a measure of your personal value. You know what they are? They are a random assortment of the first 20, 50, 100, 900, 2000 people that stumbled across your blog and liked the first couple of pages of posts. Most of them are strangers. Most of them will always be strangers. Kind strangers, hateful strangers, disinterested strangers, strangers that reblog everything but never speak, strangers who are quiet as a mouse.
You have no reason to measure your value, or the value of your blog, based on how many random strangers are watching it. You can do wonderful things with your space and your mind and your body that have nothing to do with those random strangers. If a couple of them disappear, it’s only natural. If a few more stumble in, it’s equally natural. You can always reach out to them, if you like. You can be as quiet or as loud as you like. It’s your blog. Become comfortable with it.